Be the calm,
your children need
You know you're a good mum, but it feels like you're getting it all wrong.
You love your kids, and you want them to feel safe, nurtured and loved - but most of the time you end up busy, tired, snappy and impatient. Far from bluebirds singing and the smell of homemade cookies, motherhood often feels like a hard, unfulfilling slog.
You wish you could be calmer and more organised, but no matter what new strategies you try, things always slip back to you feeling overwhelmed and out of control - and family life is an emotional rollercoaster.
As you watch the other mums around you looking like they've got it sorted, you wonder what is wrong with you.
For the first 10 years of motherhood, this was how I felt. No matter what I tried - so many different books, courses, tactics, habits and strategies - I still felt like I was failing my children. It's not a nice place to be. And it's definitely not a good place to parent from.
But one day I realised that in reality...there wasn't actually anything wrong with me. And the reason I felt like a failure was because I was listening to - and believing - the critical, demanding, perfectionist voices in my head. You know, the ones that tell us who we should be and how perfectly we should live.
As I began to notice these voices in my head I realised that they set very black and white rules, expected me to reach impossible standards and were often contradictory - meaning whatever I did wasn't enough. No wonder I felt like I was failing.
The voices in my head - which sounded exactly like my voice so I didn't notice them for years - told me that I should be strong, calm and loving in every situation, without ever asking for help, or taking time to replenish, have fun or find fulfilment for myself. They told me that I should teach my children to be emotionally intelligent but also never show my own emotions or let my children get upset. The voices said that I should be a role-model for my children, achieve success outside the home, but also keep the house running smoothly and always be there for them. They told me I had to keep slim and healthy, but could only take time to exercise after I'd done everything else on my never-ending to do list.
Needless to say, most of these standards I could never quite meet, because they are the impossible, contradictory standards of perfection that we absorb from the culture around us. No wonder so many mothers feel like we are failing.
It's time to let go of The Perfect Mum Myth.
The Perfect Mum Myth
Its strict rules only lead to overwhelm, exhaustion and unhappiness, because it tricks us into believing we have to:
- take responsibility for everything, especially our children's present & future happiness
- strive to control everything and everyone around us
- try to please people and keep everyone happy
- worry about what other people think of us
- push to get everything done - and not relax until we do it all
- have an Instagram worthy life, home and family.
- not express who we really are, instead trying to fit in with what's expected
- hold ourselves back from living a joyful, adventurous life - keeping safe is more important
- feel guilty if we don't put our children or family's needs first
- de-prioritise our career and professional fulfilment
It's not an effective strategy for raising happy, confident children.
There is another way.
Calm, confidence & fulfilment come from inside us...so let's start there.
Instead of looking outside ourselves for answers, let's start connecting to our own inner wisdom to guide us.
That place in us that just knows what the next step is.
That place in us that trusts that we'll respond to our children in whatever way they need.
That place in us that brings the deep feelings of safety and belonging - that all the perfectionist strategies are striving for but can't provide for us.
That place in us that radiates compassion so our children feel safe and loved.
That place in us that is curious, fun-loving and light-hearted - and gives you the freedom to parent as YOU want to.
That place in us that generates feelings of calm, confidence and fulfilment.
That place is your Heartspace.
I created a membership group to help you let go of The Perfect Mum Myth and parent from your Heartspace - so you can be the mother your children need - without it feeling so hard, lonely and unfulfilling.
I specifically designed Heartspace for Mums like you who want to give their children everything they need to be strong, healthy, happy and confident adults...but without the unrelenting expectations and pressure to do it ALL perfectly.
You want to be that joyful, happy mum while also setting strong boundaries, and living with integrity. And you want to parent from a place of calm, confidence and compassion, because you know that provides the love and connection your children crave. And you wish you could also enjoy it, to feel fulfilled by your role as a mother, to feel proud of the the way you are nurturing you family - however you choose to do so.
Heartspace can teach you how to do that, and support you through all the ups and downs along the way.
Heartspace can help you untangle the conflicting stories and voices in your head telling you what kind of mum you should be so you can consciously choose to act in alignment with your values.
Heartspace can keep you connected to other mothers who understand you, so that you feel safe, supported and inspired.
Heartspace can help you embed the foundational resilience habits that connect you to your inner wisdom, compassion and guidance.
Here are all the details:
Two new video tutorials each month that teach you how to build your self-awareness and emotional resilience, enabling you to understand your different inner voices and navigate day to day life with more calm & less stress.
Group Coaching Calls
There are two group Coaching & Connection Calls per month where we go deeper into the month's topics. We get into the nitty gritty of what's going on in our mind and body so we can change our automatic responses and behave more intentionally.
1-2-1 Coaching Option
If you want to add personal coaching and voice dialogue sessions with Thea, and weekly audio/text coaching to your membership choose the Heartspace Plus membership option below.
Quick Start Guide
There is no 'right' way to 'do' Heartspace - we are all different and at different points in our journey. You can dive in and go where your intuition or interest takes you, or you could follow our simple 5 Step Quick Start Guide.
A selection of short but powerful meditations to help you manage your energy and inner voices so you experience and embed new ways of feeling calm, confident and in control.
Each of the resources in our extensive library, gets you one step closer to understanding yourself more deeply, enabling you to build the self-awareness muscles needed to achieve real calm and self-control.
"I’ve felt much less controlled by my Inner Critic and that’s a huge win for me. I can navigate that Perfectionist much more easily and have had more fun! I have found ways to make things easier, and I’m choosing it. Saying: 'I’ve got a choice in this moment, what can I let go of, because I don’t need to do it all.' And that’s huge for me."
"It's really lovely in this group; it does bring you together and you build this sense of trust, knowing that everyone is in the same boat. It has given me a sense of female connection. And being more aware of the different voices shouting inside our heads, being able to calm them down a bit and say actually, No, I'm going to do this instead."
Why choose Heartspace Plus?
At various points in our lives we need more personalised support and accountability. Having someone you trust to help you understand yourself and mirror back the specific patterns and blocks that are getting in the way can be invaluable. Heartspace Plus is a way of getting an added layer of bespoke help to create momentum and lasting change in your life.
Your Heartspace Plus membership includes a 90 minute coaching session with me every month. We can go deeper into which elements of the Perfect Mum Myth are holding you back from living and parenting in the way you want to. We will get to know the different voices & selves that are running your life and if needed use Voice Dialogue to help you manage them.
Weekly Momentum sessions
To thrive we need to embed new thinking habits, create long-lasting mindset and behaviour changes and keep ourselves on track. We work on the why, what and how during our coaching sessions, and use these weekly audio & text sessions to create focus, accountability and momentum, and also deal with any challenges or obstacles along the way.
90-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE
If you aren’t completely satisfied with your Heartspace Classic membership after three months, contact us for a full refund.
If you aren’t completely satisfied with your Heartspace Plus membership after two months, contact us for a full refund.
How long do I have to commit for?
So much is included. How will I know where to start?
Are my results guaranteed?
How much time should I allocate to this each month?
How do the Momentum sessions work?
Who can I contact if I have any questions?
As a mother of three, I understand the pressure to be The Perfect Mum. These expectations used to make me feel I was never quite good enough and was failing my children - and in the dark times, perhaps even damaging them.
Until, one day, I realised that my perfectionism wasn't ever going to save me - it was actually making everything worse.
Since then I've learnt that when we stop listening to all the critical, fearful, perfectionist voices in our heads and embrace who we are (with all our flaws – eek!) instead of who we think we should be, we can be amazing parents to our precious children.
When we compassionately trust ourselves - living and parenting from our Heartspace - life becomes easier, calmer and much more fulfilling.
Setting up Heartspace is my way of helping you and other mothers let go of all the perfectionist strategies you've picked up through life, and live with more integrity, compassion and freedom.
My vision is that when mothers are role-models of self-awareness, inner strength and compassion, we create a more compassionate world.
I'd love you to join me on this adventure.